“Moving onto the Department of Communication, we have Sharlene Oong,” the Dean of the School of Humanities read from his list of students. Straightening my gown, I remember praying to God that I would not trip on my heels and cause a scene. Then I judged myself for thinking that would happen, and for taking Lizzie McGuire too seriously.
Fortunately, God decided I was not going to embarrass myself on stage, as I posed for pictures with my newly earned diploma.
Finally. After four years of burying myself in homework, late nights, too much coffee, random food adventures during unearthly hours and crying if I would get a real job, everything felt worth it. Like it meant something. My family was proud and everyone around me was happy. It felt good.
Until I had to actually leave Messiah after commencement.
With not much time to spare before I would check out of my apartment for good, I waved goodbye to friends I would not see for a long time, or ever in fact. Power walking in my heels to the apartment, I packed, cleaned and hoped I would not get fined over some overlooked detail. Just like that, I hopped into a cab with my parents and took off to the city, where I would reside temporarily and job hunt.
Just like that, my time, as well as many others’ time in Messiah was up.
It was as if my favorite song was playing for awhile, and it meant I had to wake up and create a new playlist on Spotify. The playlist had to be different, it could no longer suit my college student self.
While I had been preparing for college to end, I knew the act of reminiscing for simpler times would catch up to me. More space to lounge around, no curfew, campus safety was pretty good, unlimited access to people, social mixers and fun events.
What do I miss most? I hate to say this, but it’s the community. There’s always something comforting about having people around you that genuinely care about how you’re doing. Not that that cannot be found anywhere else, it’s how you receive what felt like comfort and home to you. Messiah was a home to me. But I know, deep down of my Shark OG self, that I will find home again, or some essence of home.
While home will never be what I was used to in Messiah, it would be my home to cherish.
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petiteshark 